Jamaica, CJ, and attack crabs...

We had a wonderful trip to Jamaica mahn. Sun and fun, and fun in the sun. We really took some quality time to lay around, read, do crossword puzzles, and really enjoy relaxing together. If you get the chance to go to Sandals in Jamaica, I would highly recommend it. Check your suitcases tho because I may try and hide in one so i can go again.
A few highlights,
(besides spending very memorable time with my wonderful wifey)
-All of the people that worked there knew me by my first name after the first day at the pool. It was hilarious because the next day everyone was saying 'ya mahn, Cory' Lauren looked at me with rolled eyes.
-CJ, one of the paddling 'salesman' was there every morning to say ya mahn. (ya mahn, is hello basically down there) I call him a paddling salesman because he was on a surfboard with some junk jewelry etc. But as I found out one day he basically sold weed. I approached him one day and he pulled out a big fat sack of weed. I said, well thanks but no thanks, I actually want to buy some junk jewelry. He was probably surprised.
-I had animal issues this trip. There were cats all over the place, peacocks, and the crabs. Apparently, I smell like crab food. We went out to eat at the Thai restaurant, I felt something touch my shoe, then scratch my leg really slowly, I looked down and I saw a softball sized crab. I jumped out of my chair and I'm sure I had a high pitched shreek. The crab was like, 'I'm a crab...ok!" then that same night I almost got attacked by a rottweiler on the island. yea, it gets better. We went into the ocean the next day, as we walked into the water, I got my toe pinched by a crab. Scared the crap out of me!!



All I have to say is...I can't wait to go back!!! If you ever get a chance to go...do it!!!
Lauren Coren

The Girl/Man

At Walmart there is a very scary looking girl/man. He/she stares, now when I say stares, I mean I feel skin falling off my body when I notice it and even when I don't. It's almost flattering and/or scary all at the same time. Some times I will go way to the other side of the store, to the busy lanes, stare at all the tons of beef jerky, tic tacs, and other useless junk you tell yourself you could get away with stealing, just to not look in its direction. But the thing about this 'thing' is that it has an Adam's apple, short hair like a woman, and wears make up. I know this is very judgemental and I will ask for forgiveness after I write this...
And of course my wife being wonderful as she is, always points out where this being is located. I'm scared of this one, reminds me of something that should be in Lord of the Rings. Cory Coren.



Shim's name is Ashley. Shim uses the women's bathroom...I was in there one time when shim was in there. Lauren Coren

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!!!

No, your eyes are not deceiving you! It does indeed say NKOTB! Well I went to the New Kids concert last night in Omaha and I got to live a childhood dream! I was only 10 when the best band in the world broke up and now, 15 years later I still know just about every word to every song! Last night ranks pretty far up there as one of the best nights of my life....it of course does not beat out our wedding though honey! I know this all probably makes me sound like a huge dork, but I don't care...you're just jealous...or no, I really am a huge dork. Oh well! But really though, they actually put on a really good show and I had a complete blast. I will totally admit that I would go see them again in a heartbeat! Maybe it's because one of them resembled Cory? I don't know, but NKOTB will now and always be the best boy band ever (I think I may be RE-obsessed with them)!

For those of you who missed out last night...keep your calendars open for the next tour because you must go next time! And I will be there too...

LET'S GET THIS!!!

**Lauren Coren**

this is all i need to say...CORY COREN

ok, I can't help myself, I need to say more...Jordan, looks like he's thinking hard or about to fart. Then Marky Mark's brother seems pretty gangsta...no I mean gangster. Hello Mr. Pacman in the back left, haba haba haba (pacman sound) then Boy George the 2nd is quite interesting himself, not sure what to think about him, and somebody's kid wondered on to the set, I can almost see the teenager dirty stache. Cory Coren.

THE HAPPENING...

Ok, first off...I was thinking M. Night Shamalalala, should be a good movie. I mean Signs was the bomb, 6th sense was money, and well the Village was kinda dumb, but for the most part he does ok. Not the case...with this pile o' crap.
With a premise that the plants are emitting toxins that turn humans into suicidal comatosees, seemed ok, starting out. Well, not even in La La land does that sound interesting. Maybe in Wonderland or the Matrix. Then as the movie progresses, you want to flick a booger at the TV, the acting is high school at best, the story is slooooooow, and Marky Mark is possible the worst actor in nature. Although you realize this half way through the movie you can't help but hope it will get better. It doesn't. What I really wanted to do was poke my own eyes out and slap myself for sitting through the whole thing. When it's over I looked over at Jules and said, "F".
~CORY COREN


Well just as a fair warning to you all, my posts probably won't be nearly as clever as Cory's. But I will try to at least be mildly entertaining....unlike the before mentioned movie.
I must admit, I chose this movie, so I will take full blame...not for how horrible it was though. I thought good ole Marky Mark would work his "good vibrations" in this movie, but that was totally not the case. He definitely does not have the talent of his brother Donnie of the best boy/man band in the world....yes, you guessed it....New Kids on the Block! (but I will talk about that later...) Anyway, long story short, the movie was bad, don't waste your time! Plants that give off toxins that make people kill themselves?...ridiculous!!! I had to dodge Cory's booger flicking in order to get the disc out of the DVD player to pack it up and send it away to Netflix! But I will say...we both highly recommend The Strangers. More movie reviews to come (along with much more)!
**Lauren Coren**

THE DANCE

For those of you who were not there, here is our 'first dance' as a wedded couple.